Wow Been almost two years since I had the house to myself both tvs both animals the computer the phone the chairs lol.
What ever will I do with myself?
I have this overwhelming urge to just strip naked and scream hey house I can run naked tonight.
I love my son with all my heart and I miss him desperately but momma needs a night, good friends good music good drinks almost all is complete.
I imagine long nights in the swimming pool by the fire pit or just lots of outdoor stuff and only one thing missing but that is that.
So tonight I sit here wishing on a star and wondering what if and enjoying my night alone. Have fun at the races little man momma misses you and I am going to have fun here.......
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
My Revelation
In every life a little rain falls. You will either get wet or be smart and have an umbrella or shelter. Without rain there is no life giving nutrients to feed the earth and the life it sustains.
Honesty like rain is a nutrient, honesty feeds the soul and heals wounds of many who have been ravaged by deceit and the fake and phony people in this world.
Falsity and deceit comes in many forms it can come in the form of a fair weather friend who asks how are you or what is wrong or can I help,and then turns around and attaches to the source of the issue like a plaque on a river of bad fish.
I would rather suffer the hurt of the original ache than the transparent falsity and lies of two face actions. Least this way when the hammer falls I have time to duck and run.
I do not believe in sugar coating, nor do I believe that friends should have to ask for respect from one who SAYS they are a friend. This is a lie and it is reprehensible in my opinion,and will no longer be tolerated at my expense.
Mary is in a mood many will say and to be truthful I am quite the opposite, for the first time in a long time I am content I am happy and I am truly one with me, no one guides my decisions and any decisions or actions made are mine and mine alone, so therefore do not blame the person you are thinking at this moment as they are innocent of all my decisions. My decisions come in the form of relief and honesty. I choose to relieve my life of fake and phoniness and shall work for peace and removal of these sort of vultures and parasites.
The revelations of one souls are seldom misleading but an act or desire to change one within themselves. To ignore your own revelation is like ignoring the need for sustenance and and the quest for happiness and fulfillment in our own existence.
Honor thy self, be true to thee, as the truth will always set you free. Fear not the doubters and naysayers for their own revelation has not occurred and when so blessed they will think back and remember that to the rest of the world we are human beings seeking knowledge, but to ourselves we are knowledge that has found its source and is learned for the ages.
Honesty like rain is a nutrient, honesty feeds the soul and heals wounds of many who have been ravaged by deceit and the fake and phony people in this world.
Falsity and deceit comes in many forms it can come in the form of a fair weather friend who asks how are you or what is wrong or can I help,and then turns around and attaches to the source of the issue like a plaque on a river of bad fish.
I would rather suffer the hurt of the original ache than the transparent falsity and lies of two face actions. Least this way when the hammer falls I have time to duck and run.
I do not believe in sugar coating, nor do I believe that friends should have to ask for respect from one who SAYS they are a friend. This is a lie and it is reprehensible in my opinion,and will no longer be tolerated at my expense.
Mary is in a mood many will say and to be truthful I am quite the opposite, for the first time in a long time I am content I am happy and I am truly one with me, no one guides my decisions and any decisions or actions made are mine and mine alone, so therefore do not blame the person you are thinking at this moment as they are innocent of all my decisions. My decisions come in the form of relief and honesty. I choose to relieve my life of fake and phoniness and shall work for peace and removal of these sort of vultures and parasites.
The revelations of one souls are seldom misleading but an act or desire to change one within themselves. To ignore your own revelation is like ignoring the need for sustenance and and the quest for happiness and fulfillment in our own existence.
Honor thy self, be true to thee, as the truth will always set you free. Fear not the doubters and naysayers for their own revelation has not occurred and when so blessed they will think back and remember that to the rest of the world we are human beings seeking knowledge, but to ourselves we are knowledge that has found its source and is learned for the ages.
Dylan
Can you believe that in a little over a month my baby will be turning 10.
The big double digit birthday where has the time gone?
we have gone from newborn to toddler to preschool to almost in the 4th grade and growing bigger and stronger everyday.
Everyday a new adventure and a new discovery a new tear and a new laugh.
What does the future hold for this miracle this little man who has so many futures to affect and change? And where does the reality of what his true goal and path intersect with the destiny and searches of others.
You will grow so much and change so much travel far and learn to give your heart in love and faith and heartbreak. I only hope is the path that you take is one less traveled than the present and a whole new adventure waits for you my son.
I love you and cant wait to see the man that you are becoming .
The big double digit birthday where has the time gone?
we have gone from newborn to toddler to preschool to almost in the 4th grade and growing bigger and stronger everyday.
Everyday a new adventure and a new discovery a new tear and a new laugh.
What does the future hold for this miracle this little man who has so many futures to affect and change? And where does the reality of what his true goal and path intersect with the destiny and searches of others.
You will grow so much and change so much travel far and learn to give your heart in love and faith and heartbreak. I only hope is the path that you take is one less traveled than the present and a whole new adventure waits for you my son.
I love you and cant wait to see the man that you are becoming .
Fallen
A beautiful song
Bret has long been a favorite of mine and this is my all time favorite song I believe,
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Smile
I sit today and smile, no rhyme no reason just a smile of pure delight and happiness.
Wow is all I can say, can not explain why, can't define the source, but can describe a utter feeling of pure unadulterated bliss.
Maybe I am getting senile, but I feel like I have started my life over with the advantage of having my little boy already and almost all the things I want. wow
Where did it come from and hope it stays around.
Too much sorrow and sadness the last few months, maybe its a new world and happiness runs wild in the streets and towns. Beware of a wild man running after you to chop off your happy face. LOL You wont catch me fool demon..
Simple things bring a smile, silly word a simple smile or the look of delight on Dylan's face over a cartoon. Heaven on a stick with no cost due.
Wow is all I can say, can not explain why, can't define the source, but can describe a utter feeling of pure unadulterated bliss.
Maybe I am getting senile, but I feel like I have started my life over with the advantage of having my little boy already and almost all the things I want. wow
Where did it come from and hope it stays around.
Too much sorrow and sadness the last few months, maybe its a new world and happiness runs wild in the streets and towns. Beware of a wild man running after you to chop off your happy face. LOL You wont catch me fool demon..
Simple things bring a smile, silly word a simple smile or the look of delight on Dylan's face over a cartoon. Heaven on a stick with no cost due.
Friday, May 7, 2010
A simple Hello
When I'm sad there you are.
When I'm happy there you are.
You light up the world by saying hello.
How can one person say so much while saying so little. Just seeing your name can bring a smile. Seeing you face brings laughter and hearing your voice makes a heart sing.
Did you ever know that you have the power to take everything bad and throw it away with a simple hello.
Did you know you have the power to break a soul in half or the power to heal worlds.
I hope that when I am needed that I can give to you what you have brought to me.
You are a rainbow of emotions and sometimes they explode all in one movement. You amaze me constantly.
When I'm happy there you are.
You light up the world by saying hello.
How can one person say so much while saying so little. Just seeing your name can bring a smile. Seeing you face brings laughter and hearing your voice makes a heart sing.
Did you ever know that you have the power to take everything bad and throw it away with a simple hello.
Did you know you have the power to break a soul in half or the power to heal worlds.
I hope that when I am needed that I can give to you what you have brought to me.
You are a rainbow of emotions and sometimes they explode all in one movement. You amaze me constantly.
The Perfect Ramble
Don't know what to say.
Don't know what to feel.
Numb makes me sad and mad pisses me off.
Silly thoughts have to share, wonder if there is anyone out there.
Are we truly alone in life, or do those voices we hear really exist.
Time to play and time to learn,time to grow and time to change. Never forgetting, yet always learning. the past is the season gone and the future is the season ahead.
Do we need things to be alive, or do we need things to have a status, a place in this world, is the more things we have the outcome of the world we want to belong in. Do we want to belong for fear of fading into a distant cloud, and does the distant memories fade forever.
Children are born, and most are cherished, loved to the end of time and hearts ache as they grow and become parents and grandparents. Some children are traded like commodities and treated like property, not loved not wanted and not nurtured to the fullest extent of there amazing potential.
As I ramble my child plays, he grows he learns he loves and he is loved, he is a dream of a life time and a desire never unending. He is the sun, the moon, the stars, the galaxy. He is the the future of things to come and through his life I learn and find an amazing creature who never asks for more than I have nor wants more than my love and it is my honor to be his momma.
Celebrate your child, they are your future.
A child is not a responsibility, a child is the gift of our creator and modeled in his own image to be the perfect thing in this world that is yours to mold love nurture teach and learn from.
So when you are a mom remember the one before you gave you the foundation it is up to you to take this perfect creature in the direction to achieve the greatest success...
Don't know what to feel.
Numb makes me sad and mad pisses me off.
Silly thoughts have to share, wonder if there is anyone out there.
Are we truly alone in life, or do those voices we hear really exist.
Time to play and time to learn,time to grow and time to change. Never forgetting, yet always learning. the past is the season gone and the future is the season ahead.
Do we need things to be alive, or do we need things to have a status, a place in this world, is the more things we have the outcome of the world we want to belong in. Do we want to belong for fear of fading into a distant cloud, and does the distant memories fade forever.
Children are born, and most are cherished, loved to the end of time and hearts ache as they grow and become parents and grandparents. Some children are traded like commodities and treated like property, not loved not wanted and not nurtured to the fullest extent of there amazing potential.
As I ramble my child plays, he grows he learns he loves and he is loved, he is a dream of a life time and a desire never unending. He is the sun, the moon, the stars, the galaxy. He is the the future of things to come and through his life I learn and find an amazing creature who never asks for more than I have nor wants more than my love and it is my honor to be his momma.
Celebrate your child, they are your future.
A child is not a responsibility, a child is the gift of our creator and modeled in his own image to be the perfect thing in this world that is yours to mold love nurture teach and learn from.
So when you are a mom remember the one before you gave you the foundation it is up to you to take this perfect creature in the direction to achieve the greatest success...
Saturday, May 1, 2010
True to my own self
I am declaring May 1,2010 be true to thine own self day.
I have a strange life, a mostly happy life, a wonderful child that god by his grace blessed me with the honor of being his mother. I have a husband who on most days I can tolerate and in my own way love. I have a family, that while challenging and embattled most often I will not bend over, I will stand with my family and I will be the first in line to the fool who tries to hurt them. My mom calls it pack mentality, the pack may fight amongst itself but outsiders dare not intervene,for they will be the enemy.
I have the greatest friends, Ladies god bless me with daily in one way or another, people when hurting, I can run for shelter and cry without embarrassment or fear of ridicule, yet they allow me to be stupid when I so choose.
I have my heart's desire and will not bend no matter the pain it causes me, I will not turn my back on this desire,nor will I allow anyone to hurt him. There is no denying our connection, our faith in one another,and even our stupidity when trying not to hurt the other.
Life comes and goes and seasons change, but the foundation of happiness is in everyone of us and to our own selves we must be true. Never fear tomorrow, for it is an extension of your today and the prelude to your future.
Be strong in your faith, your love, your wants, and your desires. Never fear what you don't know for it is just a new adventure waiting to teach you. Never regret the past, for it is a lesson learned.
Never turn love away in the form it comes. Love is the greatest gift of life, without love you have a shell of who you were meant to be. To thine own self love is the greatest confidence. With confidence comes growth, and with growth comes life.
Without the pain of the life lessons we can not be true to ourselves, I can no longer deny my life lessons and now must stand true to me.
I am Mary and I am human and even when weak I am the strongest creature, for I have learned many life lessons and I have grown with each one. Maybe not in the way many feel I would have gone, but in the direction my creator laid out for me many moons ago when devising his great design. I will be true to me and I will continue my life's journey .
I will not be ashamed of the past.
I will learn from the future.
I will not change me for me is the reason I am here.
I will be true to my own self.
Can you be true to you??
I have a strange life, a mostly happy life, a wonderful child that god by his grace blessed me with the honor of being his mother. I have a husband who on most days I can tolerate and in my own way love. I have a family, that while challenging and embattled most often I will not bend over, I will stand with my family and I will be the first in line to the fool who tries to hurt them. My mom calls it pack mentality, the pack may fight amongst itself but outsiders dare not intervene,for they will be the enemy.
I have the greatest friends, Ladies god bless me with daily in one way or another, people when hurting, I can run for shelter and cry without embarrassment or fear of ridicule, yet they allow me to be stupid when I so choose.
I have my heart's desire and will not bend no matter the pain it causes me, I will not turn my back on this desire,nor will I allow anyone to hurt him. There is no denying our connection, our faith in one another,and even our stupidity when trying not to hurt the other.
Life comes and goes and seasons change, but the foundation of happiness is in everyone of us and to our own selves we must be true. Never fear tomorrow, for it is an extension of your today and the prelude to your future.
Be strong in your faith, your love, your wants, and your desires. Never fear what you don't know for it is just a new adventure waiting to teach you. Never regret the past, for it is a lesson learned.
Never turn love away in the form it comes. Love is the greatest gift of life, without love you have a shell of who you were meant to be. To thine own self love is the greatest confidence. With confidence comes growth, and with growth comes life.
Without the pain of the life lessons we can not be true to ourselves, I can no longer deny my life lessons and now must stand true to me.
I am Mary and I am human and even when weak I am the strongest creature, for I have learned many life lessons and I have grown with each one. Maybe not in the way many feel I would have gone, but in the direction my creator laid out for me many moons ago when devising his great design. I will be true to me and I will continue my life's journey .
I will not be ashamed of the past.
I will learn from the future.
I will not change me for me is the reason I am here.
I will be true to my own self.
Can you be true to you??
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