Lets See

Until recently I was a reasonably normal person unhappy with life
unhappy with dreams unhappy with the very thought of getting up in the mornings.

The biggest joy of my life up to this point is my son Dylan Charles
he is now and always will be my main life priority the joy of being
his mother far out weighs any pain and misery I may ever have to
endure.

Writing this down is harder than I ever thought it would be,
as I still have the fear of being a fool. "Look at that idiot, she
doesn't even have a clue how stupid she looks" kinda of thing.

My life is made up of balances and extremes, balances of friends,family work so forth, extremes to the point of giving to much to to many people and having it slapped in my face so many times.

I have the pleasure of having some very dear friends I have never met but talk to daily,they have become my sisters my friends, my confidants.

A day without them would be like a day without a hug in my eyes.

But there is one special friend who fell outside that mode,and
he knows me so well,almost better than my best friend. He is so unique in the sense without me saying a word he can tell if I am mad,sad,happy or hurt.He knows my heart he knows my soul and he knows my pain.

December was a hard month for my dear friend and my heart
still aches for all the pain he has been through and goes through daily. I dont know if I will ever let him see this and I know one who will say dummy he will like seeing how dear and special he is,but will keep her thoughts to herself, lol


My sweetest friend I treasure you daily, my heart holds so much emotion where you are concerned that sometimes I have to write things down to get the feeling released just to breath.

So don't think me a fool be gentle as you who know me know that i break easily. Know that I cherish my friends almost as much as I do my son and that without you all I would not be who I am now.

Love you guys